A phrase from historical newspaper personal ads, explained with real examples from the archive.
Well mannered, cultured, and respectable; a word of social standing as much as personality.
| Type | Historical language |
|---|---|
| Category | Description |
| Earliest example in the archive | December 1886, The Anglo-American Matrimonial Journal (Toronto) |
| Most common | 1860s to the 1920s |
Refined appears on both sides of these ads: a refined widow, a refined young gentleman. It signaled education, manners, and respectability, and in the early twentieth century it was one of the most common self-descriptions in the personal column.
A gentleman, aged 28, fair, curly hair, height 5 feet 7 inches, Christian, Conservative, very fond of music, science, literature, lawn-tennis, riding, and travelling,…
WANTED—The acquaintance of a refined, well educated lady, not over 30, by a bachelor; college graduate, good position; object matrimony. Address P. O. box 405, Colorado…
A young and handsome widow of education and refinement, possessed of a small fortune, and a stranger in the city, wishes to correspond with a gentleman of some means. No…
REFINED lady of good appearance, with nice home, wishes to hear from gentleman matrimonially inclined; give full description. Address E-124, News.
CORRESPONDENCE with refined, healthy, educated American gentleman out of Denver, 45 to 55 years, not stout or undersized, with reasonable means; X-82, News.
WIDOW, who is amiable and domestic, would like to meet refined gentleman, of 40 or 45; one who, like herself, desires love and companionship; object matrimony. Z-25,…
BUSINESS MAN 35, WORTH $35,000, lonely, in Denver for short time, would meet refined maid or widow with means, matrimonially inclined; references exchanged. J-101,…
A GENTLEMAN of 32 and a stranger in San Diego would like to meet a refined lady. No other need answer. Address Box P 67, Union office.
REFINED widow, 42, excellent housekeeper, fine cook, desires to meet elderly gentleman of sufficient means to provide comfortable home; object matrimony. Address box…
WOMAN of refinement would like to meet man of about 45 years, with good situation or business; no objection to children; object matrimony. Mrs. Zetter, City.
GENTLEMAN of refinement, age 35, wishes to meet lady with means, between 30 and 40 years of age. Object matrimony. C. F. Brooks, Gen. Del., Phoenix, Ariz. 1t
REFINED, healthy bachelor, 45, best of references, wish to correspond with healthy lady, 30 to 40. Catholic preferred. Box 38-T Republican. dl
WELL educated and refined widow musically inclined and alone, desires the companionship of refined gentleman of means; object matrimony. All replies will be treated in a…
KIND-HEARTED woman (32), good-looking, desires to meet refined business gentleman (under 55), one who'd appreciate honest, lovable helpmeet. Object matrimony. Box 47V,…
INTELLIGENT YOUNG LADY, 25 years of age, brunette, taller than medium height, considered attractive, both in personality and appearance, refined and musical, would like…
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How this fits into 170 years of personal ad shorthand: From Object Matrimony to LTR: How Personal Ads Learned to Talk in Code.
All dictionary entries · The Personals Archive · How to write a personal ad
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